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Threesome
adventure anyone?
Isn’t it everyone’s fantasy to
get in a threesome adventure?
No? (Don’t read this then…) OK so, isn’t it every
adventure racer’s dream to be involved in a threesome?
Of course it is!!
That is why we love racing the Salomon Adventure
Challenge race series. It
involves teams of three and we think that is extremely cool.
Also, the Salomon Adventure Challenge is different of
other grueling races as it requires minimal gear preparation,
short briefings, no long term commitment, you can change teams
every time, it lasts only a day, no metaphysical questions
asked, anything can happen, there is always a nice dinner and
party afterwards, well you got it, it is pretty much the one
night stand of adventure racing!! And it’s all in
threesomes. Exciting
isn’t it? That is our opinion!
Some teams chose to do it in the all men
threesome category, well that really isn’t our thing, not
that we have anything against it, no no.
Some go with an all female team, which is fine with us
especially if we can be their support team and if they stay at
the party afterwards. But
our thing really is in the co-ed category, the ultimate
combination, if not a bit conservative some will say.
So please, remind me what is rule number
one when it comes to threesomes?
Oups, I mean rule number one for success in adventure
racing? Yes, you
are right! Rule
number one for success is choosing the right partners. We all know that!
Those who read our web sit race stories
may remember our Mattawa Canadian Championships race story.
I related that upon reaching a checkpoint, tired and
exhausted, the (female) volunteer that greeted us there had
the nicest smile one could imagine.
Ok, ok, I admit we said she was very attractive and we
all commented on how lucky her checkpoint partner was and that
next time, we’ll be volunteering instead of mountain biking,
running and crawling in the mud.
Even Melissa was envious since the guy was a military
and we all know by now that Melissa, a military herself, has a
thing for army guys, in fact we think that is why she is being
sent (as a punishment) to Afghanistan. All that to say that we
won’t be volunteering next time (sorry race organizers).
Liza is now racing with us, we “threesomed” with
her at the last S.A.C. race of the season, the Calabogie
Championships and she carried her smile all throughout the
course.
And a nice threesome we did! But first we had to get to know each other.
That is why we all shared bed the night before at the
luxurious Dickson Manor, for a quick nap before race start.
What a hot night it was!!
Well, I mean, it was pretty warm outside. So I turned
the air conditioning system to it’s lowest setting in hope
that we would all end up spooning, as all racers know, that is
a very effective method of heat conservation and mastering
this technique can become essential to survival in some race
situations. Hence some practice in a controlled environment.
Well believe it or not, the air conditioning trick
really worked!! When
I woke up at three in the morning to get to the start line, I
was very tightly enlaced … in Benoît’s arms – he was
drooling I think - while Liza was wrapped in a warm blanket.
Guess the technique needs some more refinement…
And yes, we did race too!
S.A.C. races provides reasonable challenge to all,
experienced teams and newbies alike. It makes for an extremely
fast paced race with lots of rebounds where great teamwork is
essential. And
while on that subject, threesome racing in a 2 person canoe
with kayak paddles requires good strategy and perfect team
harmony. Our strategy is quite simple.
Just as in the bed the night before, we put “our
girl” in the middle. And
gentleman that we are, I brought my personal pillow for
Liza’s added comfort (there is no middle seat). With strong
headwinds that day and water splashing us all over, we were
all soaked and freezing. And despite the temptation, it’s no
time for spooning, too bad.
Paddling in perfect sync is the key.
Well, that is the moment that Liza chose to whisper in
my ear: “…you know Alain, tonight you are really going to
have wet dreams…” Wow,
this is more like
my idea of a threesome.
You think I exaggerate and that isn’t true?
OK, I agree, that isn’t true, she didn’t whisper it
in my ear, she said it out loud!!!! Wow,
I said to myself, she really likes my paddling, I was very
flattered and I said to myself, ya man, the Salomon Adventure
Challenge truly is a great race, and threesomes are the best.
I really like such a display of team spirit.
Wow! But just as I was still day dreaming, I couldn’t
help hearing the rest of the sentence:
“… yes, your pillow is really soaked in water
now…”
 
So
many good things to say about SAC races.
But the best is, it ends when other races start to be
painful, a mere 4 to 12 hours.
The
idea after all is not suffer too much, to make you tired enough
for the hot tub, hungry
for the post-race meal and
very thirsty for the party…
Simon
River Sports Adventure Team totally supports the concept of
SAC and threesome adventure racing...
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